ANGER MANAGEMENT: A Chip on My Shoulder

By Eddie Griffin

Thursday, March 27, 2008

CBS News interviewed a woman on this morning’s program, who had been terminated for telling a workplace “bully” off. “If you hit me, I’ll hit you back,” the interviewee said.

Of course, she should have been terminated, I thought. So, what was the big deal?

It seems that a women and a co-worker were not friendly to each other. The co-worker was a “bully” that went out of her way to intimidate the other woman. One day, after following the woman around, the “bully” made a threatening gesture with her fist.

“If you hit me, I’ll hit you back,” the woman said. Because of that statement, she told the CBS interviewer, she was terminated from her job. The reason for separation of service from the company would always be “Terminate for threatening another employee”. The stigma would hinder her future employment chances.

It seemed, to me, that CBS was sympathizing with the woman and allowing the viewers to judge the bully employee.

Eddie Griffin doesn’t see it that way.

If the woman was going to strike back if struck first, then it was a premeditated decision made already inside her head. Why open her mouth and say what she was going to do ahead of time.

If she was going to hit the other woman back, let her hit back. Don’t telegraph it to a room full of people.

Never ever tell your enemy that you will strike back… vengeance is mine says the Lord… I will repay.

Mine shield is my fate, and my face becomes as armor. Hit me in the face over and over again until you get tired, I once told my stepfather. I was determined not to blink, nor budge, nor bloodied, nor bruised.

Does this mean me that Eddie Griffin is non-violent? Not exactly.

I pushed the envelope until the punch was six inches from my face. Then, and only then, did I know what to do... the Lord is my shield and salvation... whom shall I fear.

As for the “bully”, I don’t understand the concept. They do not exist in the lexicon of Eddie Griffin. There are people with aggressive personality disorders, of which those who issue verbal and open threats are the most egregious kind. They are the ones more likely to carry out a violent threat.

As for the “bully” with the aggressive personality disorder, manipulating the angry emotions of her co-worker, this is a case of either terrible anti-social behavior, or a very shrewd method of playing her opponent “out of pocket” and into committing a “terminal mistake”.

You be the judge. As manager, I would have fired the verbal employee, and keep the other under observation.

If an aggrieved employee has a big chip on his or her shoulder, let it be the cross. Once provoked, twice fouled.